September 14, 2025
We love to share advice. It makes us feel useful, wise, maybe even important. But today’s Thought of the Day from Bernadette Jiwa flips that instinct upside down. She suggests that maybe the greatest gift isn’t the advice we offer, but the belief that the other person already carries the wisdom they need.
That idea hits hard because it exposes something in me: I like being the fixer. If someone comes to me with a problem, my brain goes into overdrive. I want to offer a shortcut, an answer, a way to skip the hard part. And sometimes that helps, but sometimes it robs them of the discovery that comes from struggling through it themselves.
Think about the difference between being told the answer and finding it on your own. When you’re handed a solution, you might feel grateful in the moment, but it’s fleeting. When you wrestle with the problem and come out on the other side, you feel changed. You trust yourself a little more. You grow.
That’s the kind of faith Jiwa is talking about. Belief that others already have what it takes. And sometimes, giving them space to realize it is the most supportive thing we can do.
Advice vs. Faith
Advice is easy. Faith is harder.
When you give advice, you’re in control: you choose the words, you shape the direction, you carry the authority.
When you give faith, you let go: you trust the other person enough to stumble, to try, to figure it out their way.
I’ve noticed this most with my kids. If Daisy wants help building something out of Legos, my instinct is to grab the pieces and show her. But when I step back and say, “You’ve got this,” she experiments, gets frustrated, and then eventually lights up when she cracks it herself. That light, that moment of I did it, is worth way more than anything I could have handed her.
The same is true with adults. How many times have you listened to a friend vent and immediately jumped in with a plan? “Here’s what you should say.” “Here’s what I would do.” But what if the better gift was to sit back and say, “I know you’ll figure it out. You’ve got what it takes.” That’s not passive, it’s powerful. It communicates belief at a level advice never can.
Why Faith Matters More
Faith says:
- I trust you.
- You’re capable.
- Your wisdom is enough.
That’s the opposite of advice, which can sometimes sound like:
- I know better.
- You can’t handle this alone.
- My wisdom is more valuable than yours.
Of course, advice has its place. Sometimes we need directions, not pep talks. But in our rush to help, we often forget how transformative simple belief can be.
I think about the people who’ve had the biggest impact on me. They weren’t the ones who filled my ears with advice every time I struggled. They were the ones who said, “I know you can do this,” and then stepped out of the way. That kind of trust is unforgettable.
Carrying the Thought Today
So maybe today’s challenge is to notice our reflex to advise, and pause. The next time someone comes to you with a problem, instead of jumping in with the answer, try giving them something rarer: your faith in theirs.
It’s uncomfortable. It feels like doing less. But in reality, it might be giving more than you realize.
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