September 6, 2025
There’s something about Hemingway’s words that hit me right in the chest. Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated. It’s a simple line, but it’s loaded with grit, defiance, and maybe just a little bit of stubbornness.
To me, it’s not about never losing. We lose all the time, at work, at home, in arguments with kids who somehow have better negotiating skills than international diplomats. Loss is a fact of life. But defeat? That’s different. Defeat is what happens when we stop trying, when we let the setbacks define us instead of just bruise us.
Why Hemingway’s Thought Still Matters
I’ve been in seasons where it felt like everything was stacked against me, time stretched thin, money tight, stress levels high. It’s tempting to look at the mountain of obstacles and think, Well, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the hill I can’t climb.
But then I think about the small ways I’ve already proven Hemingway right. The nights of barely any sleep where I still get up and make breakfast for my kids. The times when writing feels impossible, yet the words eventually spill out onto the page. Even the days when life’s chaos is loud and overwhelming, but I keep showing up anyway.
Being “destroyed” doesn’t mean the end. It just means the challenge was real, the cost was high, and the scars will probably linger. But being “defeated”? That’s a choice. And if Hemingway is right—and I think he is—that choice isn’t really in our DNA.
Everyday Defiance
You don’t have to fight bulls in Spain to live out this idea. Everyday defiance looks like:
- Going to work when it feels thankless.
- Picking up the phone when you’d rather hide.
- Folding the laundry that seems like it multiplies in the dark.
- Choosing to believe tomorrow might just hold something better.
It’s ordinary resilience, the kind we rarely celebrate but live out constantly.
The Personal Side
For me, the reminder is that I can be knocked flat, overwhelmed, even embarrassed by failure, but it doesn’t define me unless I let it. My kids don’t see a defeated dad if dinner is late. They see a dad who still tries to make it happen. My readers don’t see defeat if a blog post takes longer than I wanted. They just see the finished post and maybe find a little piece of themselves in it.
And honestly? Some days survival is victory enough. There’s a strange comfort in knowing destruction is possible but defeat is not inevitable.
🧠 Read the full blog post where I explore this Thought of the Day and the Question of the Day
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