January 22, 2026
Some wars announce themselves loudly.
They show up with uniforms and flags and speeches and lines in the history books. Those are the wars we remember. Those are the ones we teach, debate, and argue about long after they are over.
But most wars do not look like that at all.
Most wars start quietly. They start in conversations. They start in tone. They start in impatience. They start in the small, everyday interactions we barely think about and almost never count.
That is what today’s Thought of the Day is pointing at. Not the wars you stopped. Not the battles you proudly avoided. But the ones you started without meaning to.
Thought of the Day
When you admire all the wars you stopped, remember to look back at all the wars you started.
This is an uncomfortable thought, which is usually how you know it is doing its job.
It is easy to keep a mental list of the conflicts we de escalated. The argument we walked away from. The email we never sent. The moment we bit our tongue and decided peace was better than being right.
We tell those stories to ourselves because they feel good. They reinforce the idea that we are reasonable people. Measured people. Calm people.
What we do not tend to track are the small sparks we flick into the room and then forget about.
The sigh before answering a question.
The eye roll that lands harder than intended.
The sarcastic comment that was “just a joke.”
The small talk we dismissed because it felt pointless or annoying.
Those things do not feel like wars. They feel like nothing. But nothing has a way of turning into something when it happens often enough.
There is a reason this thought pairs so naturally with ideas explored in a prior reflection on small talk and silence. Small talk is rarely about information. It is about signaling safety. About saying, I am not a threat. I am here. We are fine.
When we treat those moments as beneath us, or when we respond to them with irritation, we may not be starting a war on purpose. But we are changing the temperature of the room.
And temperature matters.
This is also why I keep coming back to this Thought of the Day about becoming what we fight. Conflict has a way of reshaping the people inside it. Even low grade, barely noticeable conflict.
You do not have to be cruel to start a war. You just have to stop paying attention.
Question of the Day
What is the most annoying type of small talk?
At first glance, this feels like a throwaway question. A light one. The kind of thing you could answer in a sentence or two and move on.
Weather comments.
“How about this traffic?”
“So, what do you do?”
We all have our answers ready.
But sit with it for a minute longer and the question gets more interesting.
Why does that kind of small talk annoy you?
Is it because it feels fake? Because it feels scripted? Because it shows up when you are tired, distracted, or already overloaded?
Or is it annoying because it asks something of you that you are not prepared to give in that moment? Attention. Presence. A sliver of energy.
This is where the Thought and the Question meet.
Small talk is one of the most common places we accidentally start wars. Not loud wars. Quiet ones. The kind where the other person walks away feeling brushed off, even if they cannot explain why.
Answering this question honestly is not about becoming someone who loves chit chat. It is about noticing where friction lives in your day and what it reveals about your current capacity.
Sometimes the most annoying small talk is not the topic. It is the timing.
And sometimes the irritation is not about them at all. It is a signal that you are running on empty.
If you want to keep exploring questions like this and thoughts that slow the moment down just enough to notice what is really happening, you can join the daily email at the Low Two Pair daily newsletter. It shows up once a day, asks one honest question, offers one steady thought, and then gets out of the way.
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