Today is Wednesday, March 25. Itās 8:40 in the morning as I write this and Iāve drunk the entire pot of coffee. Iāve been awake since the cats woke me around 6:15. The cats and I are the only ones up. They always wake me. I donāt know why.
As has become normal the past few days, the baby and the other adults are sleeping late.
The JCC closed at 6:00pm on Friday, March 13 and has not reopened. We will reopen, the only question is when. No one seems to know. Not our leadership, not our state government, or our Federal Government.
I hope itās soon. Itās tough in this new environment.
I refuse to call it the ānew normalā. Normal is waking up, greeting the day, leaving the house to do things like work or shop, and saying hello to people.
Normal is not worrying about catching a cold, looking suspiciously at someone who coughs, or hoarding basic supplies like pasta and paper goods.
Itās been tough on me. Home is where my family is and for the past two plus years, Iāve worked really hard to stop bringing work home. For the past six months, Iāve nearly eliminated all my work from home because of my new born son.
But today, and for the past 12 days, Iāve had no choice but to work excessively from home because of this pandemic.
I know I have it easier than many. Iām not quarantined and isolated like some. Iām not stuck working long hours away from my loved ones. And, Iām not putting myself at risk caring for others who are sick.
Still, itās been tough.
I feel terrible that I need to put aside my parental duties while Iām home right now. I feel that in some ways, Iām abandoning my wife by not doing as much as I normally do at home.
The sad reality is that I have no choice right now. For some reading this, you may not know what I do for a living, so my words make no sense to this point. You donāt know that I manage the website and social media for a small community center in the heart of NJ.
And that is my reality today. Iām supporting and caring for the community by curating and sharing information to make their lives easier. All the while, I feel like Iām not supporting and caring for my own family.
My wife says itās ok, that she understands, she has been incredibly supportive and understanding of my long hours. She has been patient when Iāve become overwhelmed and frustrated by the inundation of information and requests for help.
Through this all, I keep reminding myself to breath. Take one moment at a time. Take one task at a time.
I think the best thing I have done to help myself through this is taking time to turn off. It may be for a half hour or a little more. But turning off, ignoring the text alerts, walking away from the computer, just being present and undistracted when Iām able to spend time with my wife and son.
As, I wrap up the post. I just want to say thank you to my wife, son, and sister-in-law. Thank you to all who are working hard to keep the world alert. And to remind everyone to take some time, even just a few minutes, to take care of yourself however it is you need to do it.