Question of the Day: If Elves Were Paid in Candy Canes, What Would Be Their Minimum Wage?

If elves were paid in candy canes, what would be their minimum wage?

This question doesn’t behave.

Because the first thing it asks is something much simpler and much harder to answer.

What is a candy cane worth?

Is it money?

Is it food?

Is it a symbolic reward that feels festive but doesn’t actually pay for anything useful?

If it’s money, then inflation exists. Seasonal scarcity exists. Someone is hoarding peppermint wealth.

If it’s food, then that’s not payment. That’s lunch.

And if it’s company-issued candy, then minimum wage becomes a meaningless concept. Which is funny. And also telling.

Minimum wage is supposed to answer one question. Can you live on this?

So now we need to know what life costs at the North Pole.

Do elves pay rent?

Are groceries subsidized?

Is healthcare covered or does it take twelve candy canes just to see a reindeer chiropractor?

And then there’s the social economy.

How much does a tankard of eggnog cost after work?

Is there a happy hour?

Do senior elves drink for free?

You don’t need to answer any of this. Just sit back and have a great conversation about this over Christmas dinner.

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