Thought of the Day: When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.

November 17, 2025

There’s something beautifully simple about this Vietnamese proverb. It’s one of those lines that feels like it’s been around longer than the language itself, whispered from one generation to the next, reminding each of us that gratitude isn’t a mood, it’s a memory.

“When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.”

It’s gentle, but it’s also a nudge. A nudge to pause. A nudge to notice. A nudge to remember that whatever sweetness you’re tasting today didn’t begin today.

Most of the best things in my life weren’t planted by me.

And if I’m being honest, some of the trees I did plant took a whole lot longer to grow than I expected. But that’s the point. Gratitude takes patience. It takes reflection. And it takes a willingness to admit that we’re built on the sacrifices, efforts, and quiet love of other people.

When I look at my life, the kids, the JCC chaos, the late-night writing, the early-morning coffee that should qualify as a controlled substance, I can see the planters everywhere. The people who gave a little extra when they didn’t have to. The ones who showed up when showing up was inconvenient. The ones who made my life softer without ever asking for credit.

It could be a parent who worked two jobs so you could play a sport.

A teacher who believed in you before you believed in yourself.

A friend who stayed in your life even as everything else shifted.

A partner who loves you on the days you don’t like yourself very much.

Or even a past version of you, the “you” who pushed through something hard so that future-you could have more room to breathe.

This proverb lands especially hard in November, when gratitude becomes something we talk about out loud rather than just feel quietly. But I think gratitude works best when it’s not tied to a holiday. When it’s small. When it’s in the cracks of your day. When it shows up without needing a special occasion.

Sometimes the tree someone planted for you looks like opportunity.

Sometimes it looks like time.

Sometimes it looks like forgiveness.

Sometimes it looks like a conversation you didn’t want to have but desperately needed.

The older I get, the more I realize that gratitude is a discipline, a practice. And the more I practice, the more I notice. The more I notice, the more I soften. And the more I soften, the more deeply I understand that none of us get anywhere by ourselves.

Today’s thought isn’t telling you to repay every kindness. It’s just reminding you to remember, to let gratitude tint the way you look at the world. And if a certain fruit tastes sweeter today, maybe it’s because someone else spent years tending the tree.

🧠 Read the full blog post where I explore this Thought of the Day and the Question of the Day

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