November 17, 2025
As we move toward the holiday that practically forces America to eat carbs and speak feelings, today’s Thought of the Day and Question of the Day give us a perfect pairing. One is quiet and reverent. The other is… highly combustible if you say it in the wrong kitchen. Today we’re looking at gratitude, family, food, and the opinions that might just get you uninvited next year.
Thought of the Day: When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.
Vietnamese Proverb
I love this proverb. It’s simple, direct, and impossible to misinterpret. When you enjoy the fruit, remember the person who put in the work long before you ever showed up with your plate and your appetite.
In real life, that “tree planter” is rarely a literal farmer. It’s the people who made your life a little easier because they worked harder than they had to. The parent who woke up before sunrise for years so you could have cereal and a ride to school. The coworker who took on more than their share so a project didn’t collapse. The friend who checked in when your life felt like it was duct-taped together with hope and caffeine.
It’s easy to forget them. Not because we’re bad people, but because modern life has turned us all into mental squirrels, constantly storing, sorting, forgetting where we left things, getting startled by loud noises, and running in tiny circles.
But gratitude slows all of that down. It forces you to admit you didn’t get here by yourself. None of us are self-made. We’re all community-made, kindness-made, sacrifice-made.
When I look at my life now, the kids, the chaos, the coffee consumption that could power a mid-sized city, I can trace every good thing back to someone who planted something long before I was ready to appreciate it. A teacher. A mentor. A friend. Liz. The JCC staff who make everything possible. Even past versions of myself who made hard choices so future me could have some breathing room.
If you want to test this proverb in real time, try a simple exercise. Pick one thing in your life you enjoy, even something small, and ask yourself: Who planted the tree for this? You’ll surprise yourself with how far back the roots go.
Question of the Day: What’s your most controversial Thanksgiving food opinion?
Okay. Deep breath. I’m about to say something that might get me disowned by certain parts of New Jersey:
Baked ziti does not belong at Thanksgiving.
There. I said it.
Listen, I love baked ziti. I would throw a parade for baked ziti. I would write sonnets about baked ziti, preferably while eating it directly from the pan with a fork that was definitely not meant for serving.
But Thanksgiving? No. Absolutely not. There are rules. Foundational rules. Generational rules. Unbreakable rules that separate this holiday from every other meal of the year.
The plate must include:
- Turkey
- Stuffing
- Mashed potatoes
- Green beans
- Maybe rolls
- And dessert — preferably cheesecake, though pie is also welcome.
That’s it. That’s the canon. No pasta. No lasagna. No ziti. No rigatoni. No baked anything except the bird.
Thanksgiving is not “leftovers from the christening.” It’s not “my cousin Joey’s birthday.” And it’s not “random Sunday dinner because Nonna accidentally cooked for 40.”
It’s Thanksgiving. Respect the plate.
Every family has these controversial food opinions. Some people think cranberry sauce should be whole, natural, artisanal. Others insist it must retain the ridges of the can or it’s not authentic. Some people swear by marshmallows on sweet potatoes. Others believe marshmallows belong only in hot chocolate and on campfires, not on root vegetables.
Some of you monsters put raisins in stuffing (yes, I said what I said). I don’t want to talk about that.
The beauty of this holiday, though, is that underneath the jokes, the strong opinions, the generational culinary trauma, and the annual “who ruined the mashed potatoes” debate, it all still ties back to the proverb from earlier: someone planted the tree.
Someone is cooking the food. Setting the table. Hosting the chaos. Carrying the emotional load. Doing the work so everyone else can show up, sit down, take a breath, and pass the carbs.
If you want another post that’s got pie and embarrassment (like serving stupid food on Thanksgiving), try If you catch a pie with your face, eat it. It fits perfectly with the Thanksgiving theme of patience, gratitude, and wanting to scream only a little.
Gratitude grows best when we pause long enough to notice the people who made our lives possible. And Thanksgiving, baked ziti aside, is one of the few days when we actually try. So take the proverb with you today. Notice the planters. Appreciate the work. And then tell me:
What’s your most controversial Thanksgiving food opinion?
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Explore today’s Thought of the Day and Question of the Day with a mix of gratitude, humor, and Thanksgiving food controversies. A personal reflection on appreciation, tradition, and why baked ziti absolutely does not belong on a Thanksgiving plate.
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