November 16,2025
When I sit down to write the Thought of the Day and Question of the Day, I always wonder what direction the day plans to go. Today’s pair pushed me straight into a familiar theme: people who look immaculate on the outside are often wrestling with inner chaos, and people who cross the wrong boundary with me might find their contact info disappearing like socks in a dryer. In this post, we’re digging into why perfection is a red flag, why boundaries matter more as you get older, and how the two ideas connect in ways we don’t always recognize.
Thought of the Day: The more perfect a person is on the outside, the more demons they have on the inside.
Sigmund Freud wasn’t always right, but when he was, he really swung for the fences. This quote lands because we all know someone who looks like they stepped out of a catalog, but the second you get close, you realize their emotional foundation is more uneven than the shelves I installed in my basement.
Growing up, I used to think perfection was the goal. I thought people who had immaculate cars, spotless kitchens, color-coded calendars, and wrinkle-free foreheads had it all figured out. Now, older and at least forty percent more tired, I know the truth: no one who is perfect on the outside ever got there without a little internal turbulence.
Perfection is usually a coping mechanism. It’s armor. It’s a way to say, “Don’t look too closely at the parts of me that scare me.” Some people run marathons. Some people run from themselves. Others alphabetize their spice rack in an attempt to keep their internal chaos from spilling out onto the countertop.
And honestly? It’s not something to judge. It’s something to notice. When someone is holding everything together too tightly, they’re probably afraid of what happens if they loosen their grip. And that fear, that tension, that refusal to let the mask crack—it tells you more about them than the mask ever could.
I’ve written before about the trap of confusing “doing well” with “being well,” and how we’re all walking around with more behind the scenes than anyone ever sees. (If you want a related read, check out my post on learning to let things fall out of place when life demands it
Maybe today’s Thought is less about calling out the “perfect people” and more about giving all of us permission to let the mask slip a little. To be human. To be messy. To not have our demons neatly filed away in labeled folders.
Because perfection isn’t proof of peace. Sometimes it’s proof of fear.
Question of the Day: What is something one could say or do to make you cut them off completely?
Now we move from appearances to boundaries, specifically, the nuclear “Cutting You Off” button. Everyone has one. Some people guard theirs carefully. Others hand it out like coupons.
For me, it’s actually pretty simple: if someone deliberately weaponizes my honesty against me, we’re done. Quick, clean, no fireworks. Just a quiet mental archive marked “Do Not Reopen.”
It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t have to be a betrayal fit for a miniseries. It can be slow erosion, small digs, intentional misunderstandings, or the quiet dismissal of something I said in vulnerability. The moment someone shows me that my sincerity is an inconvenience or an opportunity to score points, I stop giving them access to the deeper parts of me.
There’s another category, too: people who consistently show me they’re only around when it benefits them. I’m all for generosity, but I refuse to be someone’s emotional gas station, where they stop by when they’re low and disappear once their tank is full.
Those types of people can havespending your days not caring. But that is no good for anyone. The older I get, the more I realize how expensive emotional energy really is. If someone is costing me more than they contribute, even if they look perfect on the outside, they’ve already answered the Question of the Day for me.
But really, the heart of today’s question is this: what’s the line you draw to protect the parts of you that matter most? And do you honor it consistently?
Because cutting someone off isn’t always cruelty. Sometimes it’s self-respect.
Join the Conversation
What’s the one thing someone could say or do that would make you cut them off completely? Tell me in the comments.
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