September 29, 2025
There are certain quotes that hit you like a bucket of cold water. This Martha Graham line is one of them.
At first, it sounds almost dismissive: Of course it’s my business what people think of me! Don’t I need their approval, their support, their validation? But if you sit with it, it’s almost a relief. Because the truth is, other people’s opinions live in their heads, not yours. They carry the burden of their judgments, you don’t have to.
This idea feels liberating, but let’s be honest: it’s not easy. Most of us have been conditioned since childhood to care deeply about what others think. We crave the gold star, the pat on the back, the “good job!” And when we don’t get it, we feel small.
The trouble is, when you let outside voices dictate your choices, you end up living someone else’s life. You trade authenticity for approval. That’s why Graham’s reminder matters so much, it’s permission to stop obsessing about the unmanageable and start focusing on the only thing you can truly control: your own actions, values, and intentions.
I see this play out in my writing all the time. Some days I wonder, Will this Thought of the Day feel too heavy? Too obvious? Too personal? If I listened to that fear, I’d hit delete before publishing. But then I remember: if I silence myself out of worry, I’m letting imagined critics win a battle that never even needed fighting.
There’s also a funny paradox at work. The less you care about what others think, the more respect you often earn. People are drawn to authenticity. They sense when you’re speaking from your core rather than bending yourself to fit expectations. You can’t fake honesty, and that’s what makes it magnetic.
Of course, there’s a balance. I’m not saying ignore everyone’s input or refuse to listen to feedback. Wisdom sometimes comes from outside voices. But it’s about discernment. Not every opinion deserves equal weight. Not every judgment should get a vote in how you live.
So today, I’m taking Martha Graham’s thought as a challenge. I’ll try to spend less energy managing the invisible audience in my head and more energy on showing up honestly. Because in the end, what people think of me really isn’t my business, and trying to make it my business is a job I’ll never finish.
And maybe that’s the invitation here for all of us: stop outsourcing your worth to other people’s minds. Bring the focus back to where it belongs, inside your own heart, where your truth actually lives.
🧠 Read the full blog post where I explore this Thought of the Day and the Question of the Day
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