September 26, 2026
If I’m being honest, this is one of those “no winners” scenarios. Like being asked if I’d rather stub my toe on the coffee table every morning or walk barefoot across Legos every night. Both terrible. Both guaranteed to test your patience and your vocabulary.
But since the rules say I have to pick, I’m going with the 1 ply toilet paper. Here’s why:
An itchy shirt is torture. It’s a constant reminder that your skin hates you. It doesn’t matter how good your day is going, maybe you just got a raise, maybe your kids are actually behaving, maybe the sun is shining at the exact right angle. None of it matters if your shirt feels like sandpaper. You can’t escape it. You can’t layer it. You can’t adjust it. An itchy shirt is an itchy shirt, and you’re stuck scratching like a dog with fleas until you finally peel it off.
Toilet paper, though? That’s a solvable problem. Yes, 1 ply is the cruel joke of the bathroom aisle, but at least you can use more of it. You can double up, fold strategically, or just go through rolls like they’re on clearance at Costco. Is it wasteful? Maybe. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. But it’s workable. And you get long stretches of your day where you don’t even think about it.
This kind of goofy “would you rather” question actually says a lot about how we handle discomfort. Some problems in life are permanent irritations—you just have to figure out how to endure them. Others can be managed with a little creativity, resourcefulness, or brute force (in this case, brute force being an alarming amount of toilet paper). Knowing the difference is half the battle.
So yeah, I’ll stock up on Costco’s biggest pack and resign myself to the daily origami of 1 ply. At least then, my shirt can stay blissfully itch-free, and I can go about my day without looking like I’m auditioning for a flea medicine commercial.
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💬 Your Turn
So… would you rather every shirt you ever wear be kind of itchy, or only be able to use 1 ply toilet paper?
Share your answer in the comments or on social—your weird little truth might be someone else’s comfort zone.