If time were a person, what personality traits would it have?
Thought of the Day
Time is a thief but the DA can’t prosecute.
Time and Superpowered Squirrels: A Case the DA Could Never Crack
Time is a thief. It sneaks in, swipes precious moments, and disappears without a trace. It doesn’t leave fingerprints, and it sure doesn’t stick around for questioning. It’s the kind of criminal even the best District Attorney would have to admit is untouchable.
But you know what would make time’s heists even more chaotic? Superpowered squirrels.
Stick with me here: imagine a squirrel with superpowers. Not just any superpowers—something completely absurd and over-the-top. Like teleportation. One minute, it’s raiding your bird feeder, and the next, it’s in your kitchen holding a bag of almonds it absolutely did not pay for. Or maybe it has the ability to slow down time, mid-leap, just to steal a french fry from your plate.
I like to think the funniest superpowered squirrel would be one with telekinesis. Picture this: you’re sitting on a park bench, enjoying a quiet moment, and suddenly all the snacks in the park—chips, nuts, sandwiches—float into the air and zoom toward one smug little squirrel lounging in a tree. It’s not even hiding. It’s sitting there like a king, munching on its ill-gotten gains, daring you to do something about it.
Or maybe the squirrel has the power of invisibility. Imagine feeling a gentle tug at your shoelace, looking down, and realizing the squirrel has untied your shoe and made off with your granola bar. Its only giveaway is the sound of tiny, triumphant chuckles.
Superpowered squirrels are funny because they’re inherently unpredictable. Much like time. You can’t control either of them—you can only hope to make the most of the chaos they bring.
Question of the Day:
What’s the funniest thing you could imagine a squirrel doing if it had superpowers?
Drop your ideas in the comments. Let’s build a superpowered squirrel universe that would make Marvel jealous. Bonus points if you can tie it back to the idea that time is somehow in on the joke, too.
