The secret to happiness, of course, is not getting what you want; it’s wanting what you get. – Alex Trebek
I’ve been pondering this quote for three days now, since I first saw it following Alex Trebek’s death. I’m trying to understand what it means and how to explain it to you, my readers. The explanation is more difficult than I thought it would be.
There are two parts to this quote so let’s take a look at each.
The first part states, the secret to happiness is not getting what you want, which seems counter intuitive until you take a some time to consider all the times you got what you wanted. Were you satisfied? Did you say thank you and enjoy your spoils or were you hungry for more? More money, more friends, a bigger nicer house.
Have you ever said, “If I only had —, my life would be so much better.”? Did you fill in the blank and was you life better?
Now let’s take a look at the second half of the quote, “…it’s wanting what you get.”
Part two is much more complicated than part one. To begin to understand it, let’s talk about gift giving.
When a child receives a gift, what kind of reaction do they normally have? Most react with unbridled excitement at a wrapped package. And, if you have ever been around little kid, I’ll bet you’ve seen them discard the toy to play with the box. Why do they do this? Because they don’t care what the toy is, they care that they got something. They wanted what they got.
I think what is at the heart of the statement, “wanting what you get”, has nothing to do with gift giving.
It’s really about how we appreciate things in life. You might be not like you job, but if you ‘get’ to go to work in times of huge unemployment you’re blessed. If you have a roof over your head and you ‘get’ to spend the night in a warm dry place, who cares if there are 16 people living in a 2 bedroom apartment. Think about the people who don’t have the security of knowing where they will lay their head each night.
Dinner is on the table but it’s something you don’t care for. At least you have food and you can be happy about that. Did someone care enough to make the food for you? That’s another bonus.
The time you have now because you were laid off could be spent learning new skills to help in your job search or taking up a new hobby to reduce your stress.
Perspective is important and our happiness usually lies in our perspective on things.
I did not want to be working from home for 3 months earlier this year but it happened. You know what I got during that time, I got to watch my six month old son grow every day. He couldn’t sit up when the party started. By the time it ended he was crawling, pulling himself up on the furniture, and starting to take his first steps. I didn’t even know I wanted it but I got to see it all.
I love this quote because it reminds us that we have the choice to love what we have. In times of uncertainty like the world now due to the COVID pandemic, it helps to know you have the choice to want and enjoy your time. You can also choose to be miserable.
The secret to happiness, of course, is appreciating the things we have in our life.
Now that you’re done reading this article, I suggest you take five minutes and reflect on your happiness and your misery. Where can you find happiness?
Considering I struggled so hard with how to clearly explain my opinion, let me know in to comments if I succeeded. I love constructive criticism.