Thoughts on becoming a father.

I never knew how much I wanted to be a father until I became a father.

I don’t know if I would characterize experiencing my son’s birth as magical and life altering. Experiencing his life, however, is something I never could have imagined.

When he was born, I found myself on the business end of things, and it was not where I intended to be but it was cool to watch. Over the course of 45 minutes, we went from expecting parents to actual parents. And two days later when the nurse came in and said, “I cut all his tags off, you’re ready to take him home.” I had a moment of terror.

HOLY COW!!! We’re taking this kid home. Am I going to be a good parent in these next few weeks? Am I going to be a good husband too?

The initial shock of taking our baby home was something I tried to prepare for, but I never expected how quick and deep the love for this tiny human would hit me.

I find so much joy sitting and staring at him. Listening, and smiling as he makes odd noises in his sleep. I sit and watch him while he sleeps sometimes. When his eyes are open, I sing to him nonsense songs that I make up. His eyes open more and more every day.

He has some of the greatest facial expressions. Often, he has a surprised look on his face. There is a special joy when he wraps his little fingers around mine. A joy, I think only a parent can understand.

The next few months I expect to be challenging as we adapt to our new lives as parents. I pray that I will be the father and husband that my wife and son deserve.

The fear and doubt that I have for being a good parent, is slowing shrinking, and I’m more excited for the future that I have ever been.

Holding up his head and rolling over belly to back at age two weeks and 6 days.