From a Perspective of Gratitude

On Sunday, January 13, 2019, I began a gratitude journal. In my head the idea was simple, write down things everyday for which I was grateful. It didn’t matter whether it was a big thing or a little thing. A silly or a serious gratitude. I wanted to write down three things every day.

From January 13 to June 2, I wrote every night before I went to bed and only missed two days. I did take off almost the entire month of June for reasons I won’t recount.

What follows is my account of how my mind changed over the course of those 4 and a half months, and how I continue to grow because of things.

My first entry was as follows:

What good have I done today?

One thing that made Liz very happy, I went to the store to buy her an ice cream treat at 7pm after being at home all afternoon.

What good will I do tomorrow?

I will be continuing to work on my goals for the upcoming year. Right now, I’m feeling very excited about what is to come in the next twelve months.

My second entry was more aligned with how I have been keeping the journal:

3 Things that I was grateful for today?

1. Seeing Betsy standing in the gym holding a ball. It was not long ago that she was being pushed everywhere in the stroller
2. The opportunity to learn a musical instrument. After my second keyboard lesson, I could already see (limited) progress.
3. Both Sarah and Ellen were back at work today. Sarah after being home for a few days taking care of her John. And Ellen a month after emergency appendix surgery.

What good have I done today?

I wish I had spent more time today working on projects for the J. I understand that in order for me to grow, I need to get my processes in-line. I can’t continue to fight fires day after day, I need to learn to be more proactive.The time I spent defining those processes will be well spent in the long term.

This daily reflection has done several things that I have found valuable.

First and foremost, it has forced me to reflect on the activities of each day. Did the cats wake me up? Did I have a meeting that went too long and it frustrated me? Did something happen that made me feel good for no particular reason?

It was in this daily reflection that I began to see good in everything around. And yes, I know how it sounds but stay with me for a minute. Was I in an annoying meeting? Perhaps, but I was in a meeting because I I have a job and I’m grateful to have a job. Did the cats wake me? Yes, but I’m still alive to be woken

One day in early April, I was in a car accident.It sucked but there were still things to be grateful about.These were my three things that day:

1. No one got seriously injured in the accident.
2. The car is still drivable.
3. We had many laughs after softball with the Ballows, Steph, and Chelsea.

My point is, I could have chosen to focus on the mess that was ahead. The car had no rear bumper, my wife refused to ride in it, the battery died on the side of the road, and I got charged $120 for a jump start. Of course, this was not my immediate reaction. My initial reaction was one of anger, frustration, and anguish over how we were going to pay for the repairs. (Turned out the other guy was at fault and his insurance paid for the repairs.) For the record, for years when something unfortunate happened, I always said “It could have been worse.” But I don’t think I really believed that statement until now.

A curious thing has happened since I began this journey. I’m finding myself more grateful during the course of the day, not just when I’m journaling at the end of the day. I’m finding myself calmer, especially in traffic, and generally happier. (doesn’t mean I don’t want to flip someone off when they do something stupid, but much less). More often than not, I am finding myself seeing the good in all types of situations, and hearing more of the negativity emanating from others and I can avoid engaging in those negative interactions.

When someone is tailgating me on the highway, instead of getting upset at it, I wonder why are they in a hurry. Are they rushing to a hospital for some reason? Perhaps, there is an emergency at home? Maybe they are late for work because they were taking care of a child or a parent.

If I’m asked to do something extra at work, instead of getting annoyed, I chose to think I’m asked because the person asking knows I can handle the situation better or I know something they don’t know. And that’s not meant as a knock on them, there is plenty that I don’t know, which brings me to another point. I’m finding myself more willing to admit when I’m wrong and when I need help.

I did not expect this shift when I began the journey. I had the idea that I wanted to be more grateful for all of the abundance in my life that I had been ignoring. The side effects of writing down just three things every day. 10 minutes max before bed has made me more relaxed, opened my eyes to incredible abundance in my life, and profoundly happier.

I plan to continue my three things – maybe expanding or tweaking it. I have some ideas but that’s more for another day.